INTRODUCTION

WHO IS THIS HALF NAKED CHICK THAT RUNS AROUND THE DEEP WOODS OF WISCONSIN IN 20°F WEATHER, TAKES DIPS IN HALF FROZEN LAKES, AND EATS SUNSHINE FOR BREAKFAST? Ahhh, it is I. The crazy polish chick that on the outside looks like your average gal (with some newly acquired "tiger stripes" on her torso - but that's a whole another chapter for this book.)

I was born and raised in Poland where I lived till age of 13. Both of my parents were US citizens so it was only natural for the whole fam to move to the land of "endless opportunities"...besides the future in the US for three young kids looked much brighter than what Poland had to offer at that time so of we went without looking back.

The culture shock was intense and not knowing the language was hard and kids were brutal. The first year was hard to get by as there was not one day where I didn't think about throwing myself in front of a bus. Besides the mental fuckery the whole experience brought I also went through a lot of physical "trauma".

Back in Poland we ate what we grew on our land ...at least majority of the time and ice cream was a once a week (if that) treat in the summer - because what moron eats ice cream in winter (they weren't even available at stores in winter)?... In my little town there was no supermarkets filled with mitochondria poisoning blue lights, there were no supermarkets PERIOD.  There was no decorating houses with Christmas lights, no neon lights on the streets - there were street lamps but hardly any ever worked. That was my little town, where everyone knew each other, where the priest would spend the whole religion class investigating why my father didn't show up to Sunday mass --"because he was too shit faced!" (usually what I thought in my head but never said it out lout).  Out of the whole town my family was usually one to get the newest tech - colored screen TV, VHS (remember those?) phone, gaming system and so on.  I was always mesmerized by all the tech and for some reason I just knew how to set it up without instructions #techgeekatheart . But even though we had all of this available to us my mom made sure we weren't stuck at home in front of TV. We had to ask for permission to watch TV for an hour or however long the tape about Jesus was - yuppp that's all we got to see and even that was limited to once a week.  But in spite of that I still thought life was good. We got to play outside from sun up to sun down, in spring we played in mud, in summer we wondered the fields collecting wild berries and herbs, and in fall my sister and I would make cakes from dirt- we even built our own kitchen in the woods. 

Now transplant that into Chicago where streets never sleep and look like constant Christmas Light Show. I remember the first day my mom took us shopping to Old Navy and Target and my sister's eyes would water and get super red and I'd feel like I got slapped with naked ass across my face (i'm pretty sure that's what it would feel like). All I wanted was sleep...all the time.  I was tired and drained --all damn time...add suicidal to that combo too. I cried for no reason and my parents were worried about me ...I was worried about me. So I guess this is how I got into "biohacking" or was it when I was 9 years old, still living in Poland and after reading an article in a health book about how green peppers will help develop breast I went out to our garden and tried binge eating 3 lbs of green pepper -- needless to say, till this day I hate green peppers and my boobs didn't magically grow overnight - in any event, biohacking was part of me as long as I can remember. 

So what's the point of writing this? For me this "journal" is a place where I can share some of my experiments while dropping all the f bombs I want, talk freely about sex, nipples and dicks if I feel like it. Place where I relieve any and all frustrations --WELCOME TO MY MIND'S VACATION SPOT!

 Buckle up and be ready for an adventure ...you just might learn something useful along the way.